i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
