Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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