doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
