some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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