He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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