I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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