And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
