Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
