If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize