he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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