turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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