Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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