wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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