i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
