I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
