if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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