I accidentally had phone sex last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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