And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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