if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
