She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
