We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
