So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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