dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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