tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
