i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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