Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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