even my farts smell like vagina
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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