This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
