I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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