even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
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You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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