I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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