halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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