I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
