real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
