he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
