She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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