Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
