im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
