Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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