She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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