as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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