Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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