Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
