Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Pants are for mortals
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
