Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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