im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
