I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize