Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
