you have to choose: penises or morals?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
