Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
