I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
