oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
