if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
