I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
