that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
