Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
