wrigley field is MILF paradise
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
