I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
