The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
