my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
