i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize