Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
