i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
