Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
