Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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