They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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