Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
