there's paper in my vomit.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
