My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize