she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
